The other night, The Bunny had a "lady date" (suspicious...) with a friend of hers and purportedly went to see the Broadway version of "Aladdin".
Lady Dates: Ladies, you realize that, to men, "going out with the girls" or "having a girls night" are totally acceptable activities, and raises no suspicions, while "Lady Dates" are an immediate red flag? You are either lying, plotting, or getting our most prurient hopes up? All of which are unacceptable (OK, depending on with whom you are going on the lady date. If the other lady is even remotely good-looking, then it's suspicious. If she looks like John Madden in a skirt, off you go. we're fine)
That same evening her parents took me out to Indian food: "Oh, India" in Crossroads...
GO.
EAT.
THERE.
Oh, India is a halal-compliant buffet restaurant that serves generically Northern Indian/Pakistani style food. Their goat biryani is proof enough for me that God exists, loves us, and wants us to be happy. (And they don't charge extra for raita. Go to your local Indian joint and try to get extra raita. go. HA! can't be done, can it? Even if you offer money. Seriously, people from India listen up: Raita is good and all; but it is not more precious than rubies. What will you do if we honkies learn to make it? Think about the economy.)
Aladdin, on the other hand, we all know and either love or despise. Personally, I like it quite a bit. Robin Williams as the genie, Gilbert Gottfried as the parrot, etc etc etc. But then again due to the chip inserted into my head by Micheal Eisner, I have to like it or they start with the shocks. They hurt.
So fun was had by all.
Bunny got home very, very late for a school night (again, suspicious) and woke me up to tell me all about it.
At this point, I think it is best that I tell you what happened before it gets blown all out-of-proportion by the press:
Here is what happened:
Dramatis Personae:
Pete: stunningly handsome hero of the play, lying peacefully asleep in the bower of his lady-love.
Bunny: Beautiful lady-love, stumbling in after a night of carousing
SCENE I - Exactly thus:
Bunny still hasn't told me who the other jerks are, so I should leave them out of the play.
Bunny <Enter Left>: I had the best time! blah blah blah blah (The hero drifting towards consciousness isn't actually paying attention)
Pete: wstfzzl? (in a manly baritone, of course.)
Bunny: We had Talarico's Pizza and saw Aladdin and it was AWESOME!
Pete: Nice.
Other Guy #1: Tell him about Genie!
Pete: Who the fuck are you?
Other Guy #2: Ignore us, we aren't really here
Pete: <suspicion and the result of eating several plates of delicious Indian food too fast building> Well....OK then
Bunny: <getting into bed and getting into snuggling position> blah blah blah < Pete dropping back off>
Pete: Huh?
Bunny: The songs were amazing! Genie was played by some really huge black guy with an amazing voice and Parrot was this little guy, which lent a somewhat homoerotic subtext to the entire show...
Pete: <Singing> I can show you the world....<yawn>
FRRRRAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaapppp <falls asleep mid-flatulence> <wakes up again> frrraAAAAAPhhweet. parp. parp.
Bunny: HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAH (It has been noted that her sense of humor s about that of a seven-year-old boy)
It is at this point that I finally realize that we are meant for each other.
Later, a review of "Cowboys and Aliens", starring me. (I wasn't in the movie, the review stars me. never mind)
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